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God, I hate to defile anything from "Casablanca", but the headline seemed appropriate.  NBC's whore-like million-dollar come-on to uber-skank Paris Hilton can be interpreted as classic desperation.  When you're choking for air, you struggle for breath, right?  This is exactly what's happening to Old Network TV.  Solution? Bring the sleaze, and an audience may follow.  In the 19th century we had microcephalics, hirsute ladies and gigantism.  The rubes flocked to the shows and the P.T. Barnums of the world profited.  In the 21st, we've got Paris.  A talent-free Madonna, albeit a natural blonde (perhaps).   Gawd, this makes me want to regurgitate.  I wish Major Strasser could send her to one of his "county jails".  Bet she'd stay.  Or expire "trying to escape".